SPC #9 – avoidance
Posted October 10, 2006on:
Self Portrait Challenge, October ’06 – Imperfection, week 2
I do not, actually, have to avoid the paparazzi (in fact, I AM the paparazzi… at least in this house), but I have and still do make a career out of avoidance.
It’s at the root of my procrastination, I think. I would rather do almost anything than confront: confront people, confront pain, confront uncomfortableness. In my transient lifestyle as a child, if I ignored or avoided something long enough, it usually would go away — or I would go away from it. All the same.
I realized a while back that the fear and apprehension of pain is worse than the pain itself. Or at least, makes the pain itself so much worse. The more I open and allow the feeling to enter, and then pass, the more bearable it is. Still working on it, to be more conscious about it.
The second thing I want most to learn now: courage.
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