quaking aspen, previously

twitter highlights, part 2

Posted on: November 25, 2008

Oh, yes, there’s more. Continuing from part one.

***

papernapkin Someone has sprinkled narcolepsy powder on my recliner.

twhitney yelling at grumpy daughter, “NO ONE LIKES A PARTY POOPER!” second grumpy daughter yells “YEA WE DONT LIKE POOP PARTIES!”

zuhl Resolved: George Lucas gets no more of my money until he has someone on staff hired to say, “Mr. Lucas, that’s a DUMB idea. Rewrite that.” [AMEN, my brother.]

czdesign Twitter Haiku: Lays Potato Chips…I know food is not love, but…will you marry me?

hotdogsladies First, I have a wife, not a girlfriend. Second, I could hardly be more grateful that she is not, as you say, “a freak” like you.

mrskennedy Jack: “What’s good here?” Waitress: “Nothing.” Jack: “I love this place.”

zuhl Gathering receipts for expense report. Fashioning them into a little hat, adding floral accents. Accounting person will like that, I’m sure.

finslippy I despise the inevitability of dinner.

zuhl Her: What you said about choking down an uncooked goat rather than use Adobe Illustrator? Yuck! Me: Obviously, you’ve never used Illustrator

hotdogsladies I sincerely hope that the people to whom I owe email responses never self-organize in a town where torches and pitchforks are plentiful.

mrskennedy Just refused to make my son and his friends peanut butter sandwiches. Get your own mom to make you a half-assed dinner!

papernapkin I haven’t packed a single freakin box. I think I have box-packing phobia. I hope there’s a Latin term for it, so I can feel justified.

zuhl reading anything on WebMD for more than 5 minutes scares the living daylights out of me. I HAVE ALL THE DISEASES IN THE WORLD.

papernapkin I feel weepy @ the thought of making dinner and doing laundry. Then I feel awful b/c even a life of 21st century ease is too tough for me.

papernapkin re: Go Diego Go. What kind of mom lets her kid travel alone through the Amazon by zip line? I wanna party with her.

papernapkin Sun doesn’t rise until 7:50. Nice cushy job ya got there, think the world revolves around you.

papernapkin @megfowler: Are you on the Dread Pirate Robert’s ship? [in response to a twitter that says: “i’ll most likely die before morning”]

papernapkin Thank God that’s over. Why can’t I love to exercise as much as I love to eat, and hate to eat as much as I hate to exercise? Fix that, okay?

papernapkin Hate to order take out on Monday. It sets a bad precedent. It says to the week, “Go on, wreak havoc, I can’t do a damn thing to stop you.”

papernapkin Just changed the fish bowl. I’m changing my fish’s name to Rasputin. No ordinary fish could’ve survived that water. [Ha! Hahahahahahahahahaha….]

papernapkin @SusanW: It’s bedtime SOMEWHERE, widen your children’s cultural frame of reference by exposing them to the time zones of different countries

finslippy Henry: “Everyone likes chocolate.” Me: “Well, some people don’t.” Henry: “Some people are nitwits.”

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